As the title suggests, the madness began right at the time I was born. Well, the earth did not stop revolving or people did not stop breathing, for I was pretty much a normal baby boy. I know, the moment this line would be read, people would raise their eyebrows, maybe in apprehension (and some with incredulity) but then, that is what I believe is the focus of this article.
I will not blabber incessantly about myself any longer than required.
Recalling my moments of madness, the first thing which comes to my mind (and brings a coy smile to my face at the same time) is when I hear my mother complain about the way I used to trouble her(the unborn me) when I was still a mixture of blood and veins. I am told that I seemed to be reluctant even to be born. After all, who wants to leave the comfort of the womb and come out into a world which is so cold and dreary, but, lets not divert from the topic at the moment.
The next moment of madness happened when I visited Thailand. She Boys(men who have converted to women by a sex change operation) put up a live show. They were cavorting all over the place, oozing sensuality and enthusiasm, in tune to the thumping foot tapping music. My friends challenged me to dance with the She Boys and that too, live on stage in front of an audience. Gearing up, and putting together all my confidence, I went up to the stage and danced my guts out, savouring every moment. It all ended with an applause, but the only reason (I later realised) was cos my friends were cheering and hooting for me, and one of them actually came, took out a bunch of notes and twirled it all over me(Like Nazar Utarana) and then threw them in the air. It was such an embarassing moment, but surely a memory worth holding onto forever.
I can't stop laughing while recalling this episode of sheer idiocy. It was somewhat mid-december, with the cold winds blowing and the chill in the air at its peak. It felt as if I was on the peaks of Switzerland, like a Bollywood hero, with nothing but a thin net shirt to protect me from the biting cold. Irrespective, me and a few guys from college, planned a trip to an Adventure Park. Armed with nothing but bustling excitement, all of us reached the place even before it had opened up for business. While purchasing the tickets, all of us were arguing and planning on how to get the best out of the 300 bucks ticket.
Out of uncontrollable joy, I tried to jump a fence in order to break the long queue for Bumping Cars(it's a ride and the queue was as long as if it was in front of a Ration shop).
All engrossed in climbing over the fence, I heard a ripping sound, and me being such a fool, thought, someone had farted. Giggling to myself, I realised at a moment's notice, that the ripping sound had come from me(I had not farted myself, so you can get that idea out of the mind!!!). Looking down, my eyes literally jumped out of their sockets. There was a huge gaping hole in my favourite jeans. The best part being, it started right from the middle and extended to the bottom of the pants. My face turned a shade of beetroot red, and highly embarrased, I turned to find my friends literally rolling on the floor with laughter. Such sadists they turned out to be, not one of them helped me out. But then, my brain came to the rescue. I turned my jacket into a skirt and wrapped it around my waist.
It was such a disaster cos my friends kept on picking up the so called leather skirt to peer inside. The so called makeshift skirt was the centre of attention for one and all in the amusement park. Right from toddlers, to staring aunties, everyone had a perverted smile on their face, thanks to the tear in my pants(hole sounds a bit perverted, after all) Whatever you call it, I just somehow, cant help but laugh as I recall that day full of embarassing but crazy moments. The episode surely did not stop me from doing full vasooli of the 300 bucks.
This event was just like a cherry on the cake. On a regualar basis, in my previous organization, there used to be Rewards ad Recognition programs. All of us(me and my colleagues) used to attend it out of complusion, but the only factor which used to make it bearable used to be the free pizzas and Pepsi. So, in one of the events, me and P(one of my colleague's and closest confidante) sat in the back of the hall, with our eyes glued to the back door. The moments the Pizza's arrived, we both could not get our eyes off them. She was mainly checking out the delivery guys, while I checked out the free yummy pizzas.
The moment the event finished, we jumped on the pizzas as if we were hungry from birth. One of my colleague's(I made him stand in the long pizza queue) handed me 5 boxes of pizzas(they were meant for everyone). I told P to pick up 3 bottles of Pepsi, and both of us scoooted down the stairs with the loot. Thinking them to be pizzas of different varities, we opened the boxes with a lot of enthusiasm. The sight which met our eyes, made us fall to out knees laughing. If any of you remember, Pizza Hut had launched some stupid Cheese filled twirls some time back(which I can assure were a BIG disaster). Eating them at that time, as we were left with no other option(and being hungry doesn't count) made it hell for me later(You can just about imagine the reason why). When my remaining colleague's finally caught up with us, we had no option but to grin sheepishly. Asking how the "So Called Pizzs" were, they mocked me all the way home. But then, I laughed so hard that day, it felt as if my lungs would just pop out into my hands.
The moments can never end, for at one point or the other, all of us have gone out of our normal routines and acted out of sheer madness. But, all I can say at this point of time is, "All these moments made me recall the times which in normal circumstances would not even have the time to think about". Guess, this article will always remain very close to my heart, for it reiterates all those moments of my life, which I would never wanna forget ever.